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Essay Collection

Hundreds of the most informative essays have been hand-picked for depth of knowledge and varied opinions with new and seasoned practitioners in mind. A wide range of topics are available for you to explore. Donations are always open so submit your essay to The Iron Gate for consideration!

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Featured Essay

Lessons Learned by kaya
Filed in: humor, lessons, quips

As anyone who reads my journal could tell you, I am far from the "perfect" slave. I slip and fumble, make mistakes, make the same one again... and again... routinely. But, tirelessly, my Master, saint that He is, never gives up on me. And over the course of time I have learned a thing or t[...]

Newest Essays

Why staying "in the closet" isn't necessarily a bad thing by Phrodeaux
Filed in: family, bdsm, acceptance, approach, in the closet

The question often comes up when I'm with other BDSM-oriented friends: "What do your family and friends think?The answer, for us at least, is simple: "We've never brought it up."We're not ashamed of our BDSM proclivities. Far from it! We're both very overjoyed that we've found each ot[...]

Five Phases of Punishment by Amsterdam News Desk
Filed in: punishment, discipline, process

Punishing is serious business. And good and effectful domestic punishment should be executed with care, a sharp for ritual and most of all, carefully planned and timed to create optimal effect. Classic domestic discipline can be dedived in five - equally important - phases t[...]

Defining the BDSM Lifestyle: The Essential Prerequisite, part 2 by Polly Peachum and Jon Jacobs
Filed in: dominance, submission, lifestyle, sm, definitions, bdsm, essentials

Jon's Speech Hi, there! Polly has said the bulk of what we want to talk about tonight, but I do have a bit to add. I want to talk some about the two SM life styles, including some good things about the SM subculture--which will proba[...]

Defining the BDSM Lifestyle: The Essential Prerequisite by Polly Peachum and Jon Jacobs
Filed in: dominance, submission, lifestyle, sm, definitions, bdsm, essentials

The following talks were given by Jon and Polly to a diverse audience on the IRC channel #surrender_discuss on October 8, 1996. Polly and Jon were asked to speak on the subject "Defining the BDSM Life Style."DEFINING THE BDSM LIFE STYLE:THE ESSENTIAL PREREQUISITEHello, my name is Polly Pea[...]

Submissive Needs vs. Submissive Wants by Polly Peachum
Filed in: submission, needs, wants

Polly wrote the following message on a mailing list she once belonged to, in response to another submissive's message. All information that might identify this woman or her situation has been removed.Someone said that when she tries to talk to her dominant and tell him what she needs, he seems to li[...]

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Most Popular Essays

What NOT to say to your Dominant... by Author Unknown
Filed in: humor

Pushing limits does not mean making Master so angry the vein above his right eye throbs. "Quit it!" "Ow, damnit!" "I'm hiding that toy when you go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are not safe words. "Oh my god, where did you get those, they are gorgeous[...]

Qualities of A Successful Dominant by Polly Peachum
Filed in: dominance

"The Problems Started After I Moved In" When talking to submissive women about their lives and relationships, the most frequent cause of sorrow and difficulty that gets mentioned is the transition from a non-live-in D&S relationship to a full-time live-in situation. Relationships that[...]

Orgasm Control by gina
Filed in: orgasm control, denial, training, submissive training

My Master and i practice Orgasm Control which is also known as Release Training. It is NOT the same thing as Orgasm Denial which both my Master and i do not feel is healthy. We have an agreement that i will never go longer than one month without having an orgasm. Usually [...]

Making a Corset Pattern with Duct Tape by Robin
Filed in: corsets, corset, duct tape, crafts, sewing, pattern, corset pattern

If this is your first time doing a corset, then a pattern might be the best, however that patterns tend to fit the "average" figure. To make a rough pattern of what you are, just as a starting point I would suggest the old tee shirt and duct tape method. You need a friend to help or you mu[...]

A Master's Creed by Author Unknown
Filed in: inspirational

For people who wonder about a D/s relationship and often feel it is "degrading" to a woman, this should clear it up. True D/s involves much love, respect, and trust. Here is what one Master wrote and I agreed with it completely. To me it epitomizes everything that should be in every D/s re[...]

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Recent Comments on Essays

Teresa Bowers replied to Choose Your Words Carefully III: Humiliation VS Degradation

Very good post. So many people new to this don't understand why anyone would want to be humiliated. They see it as a personal attack and something to be avoided at all costs. Why I oughta...
Posted on 02-03-2010

Secretwriter replied to Irresponsible Masters

Amen. More people need to read this, especially those males that don't understand the limits and boundaries.  Thank you very much for this.
Posted on 01-07-2010

Melen replied to It's All In Black and White: Contracts I

I would recommend being VERY careful about using the sample contract here. Once you identify yourself as employer and employee there are labor laws (in some states) that would need to be complied with. In other words, for it to be legally binding
Posted on 12-12-2009

whippedblade replied to Healthy Breast Bondage

I think it would be helpful to some if this article were updated to include information about breast bondage/play when the female participant has breast implants.
Posted on 11-26-2009

desiree replied to What makes a healthy submissive?

Nice encapsulation of maintaing emotional health in what is an otherwise challenging lifestyle. Thanks!
Posted on 11-23-2009

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